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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427066">can i go (where you go)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/letusbebrave/pseuds/letusbebrave'>letusbebrave</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>passed down like folk songs [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas, F/F, and their love, fluff with some smut, just an emotional crisis about these two characters, just listen to lover and that's it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:22:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,418</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27427066</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/letusbebrave/pseuds/letusbebrave</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You think you’re rather clever, don’t you?” Jamie teased as she looked up at the mistletoe hung mysteriously above their bedroom door. </p><p>Dani was all shy, with a slight blush on her face that Jamie loved seeing. “How did that get there?” She feigned innocence, but the truth came with Dani’s hands finding her hips and pulling them towards each other.</p><p>aka a holiday fluff piece</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dani Clayton/Jamie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>passed down like folk songs [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>210</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>can i go (where you go)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>honestly this was created from my love of christmas and my listening to "lover" by taylor swift.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s three years after leaving Bly that they discussed having people up for the holidays. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re settled into their lives in Vermont completely. Their little shop and apartment that they’ve worked hard for are secure. The conversations about the lady in the lake have become less frequent as days and weeks passed without seeing her lingering in the background. It didn’t mean that the concern was gone, but they were more focused on their lives together than worrying about the future, for now at least. Jamie and her had built a life together with one day at a time. It had been Jamie’s idea to think that way; it helped Dani be able to regulate her emotions and feelings of doom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Buying the flower shop and apartment had been big deals for both of them. It was the first stable thing they had together, where one day at a time wasn’t the motto. They had created roots together. Like vines that had woven together to form something new. Something that was completely both of them just twisted together to create something beautiful. And it was the start of their life together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A life that’s filled with work and laughter and love. A life that Jamie never imagined having. It was so peaceful and domestic that Jamie thought she might cry if she thought about it for too long. </span>
</p><p> 
  <span>The idea came to Jamie because she knew that Dani misses having Christmas with family. Jamie didn’t have her biological family, but she had her other family, the one that she had created. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It might be nice to see the gremlins again,” Jamie added onto her proposition. It would be nice to see the kids, they had been a part of her life for 3 years at Bly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as she wanted to deny it, it warmed her heart to talk to them on the phone, even if it was just a quick hello or chat about whatever they wanted to talk about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can invite Judy if you want,” Jamie said. Because even though it was proper mental, Judy had become part of their lives in a way. She sent gifts and cards for Dani on the holidays and they talked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie was just the tiniest bit jealous, couldn’t help but think that she didn’t have one mum, let alone another one that was more of a mother. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she was happy for Dani, always. It didn’t matter if she was jealous or not.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie knew that Christmas was a big deal for Dani. They had discussed it and even though Dani had always been fine with having the holiday just with Jamie, she wanted to do this for her. To give her some semblance of what she had when she was young. Jamie didn’t have anything of the sort to go on, so she was just constantly trying to learn and keep up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their first Christmas had been small, because Jamie still had to get over killing a tree to put it into your house to what? Decorate and celebrate in its death? No it hadn’t made sense. Not after spending years of her life taking care of plants. Killing a tree was a no. Something that Jamie wouldn’t budge on, even for Dani. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So they settled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead of a cut Christmas tree, they got one that came in a pot. They would replant it after the holidays were over and let it continue to grow. Dani had been the one to come up with the idea and it was something that Jamie could live with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the thank you and kisses from Dani made it worth it. She’d take kidnapping a tree from nature as a punishment for the love that Dani gave her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually they did decide to invite some up to visit them during Christmas. The kids, Henry and Owen were the few that they felt comfortable hosting. There would be no weird interaction about why they lived together that may happen if Dani invited any friends. No, Henry and Owen knew they were together. And the kids had never seemed to mind either, so it was settled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small holiday with some chosen family.  </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“You can’t put that there!” Dani insisted, swatting away Jamie’s hands from the tree in front of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie just put up her hands in a surrender and backed away from the tree to let Dani go over it again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani rolled her eyes in response, before going back to choose the exact ornaments she had chosen to be on the front of the tree facing the living room. She hadn’t realized how much Christmas stuff she had until they had moved into the apartment and she had to fill closets. The apartment was much smaller than her house in Iowa, but she didn’t mind. She liked the smaller space for her and Jamie. That way they were never too far apart from one another. A lot of her stuff had gotten given away, but there were some items that she couldn’t bear to get rid of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it was too sentimental of her, but all the ornaments she had as a kid were things that had stayed. She could barely remember her dad, but she remembered which ornaments were on the tree before he died. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie didn’t seem to mind anything she wanted to do to the place for the holidays.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Early in the day, they had spent an hour outside putting lights around the front of the shop. The cold had seeped into their bones and they eventually called it quits when Dani was finally satisfied at how it looked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t made such a big deal of Christmas decorations in the last few years, but it had been just her and Jamie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For them, she hadn’t needed the big decorations. All she needed was being with Jamie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now, with the kids and Owen coming, she wanted everything to be perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Poppins, we’ve got time. They don’t come till tomorrow evening.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani knew that Jamie was trying to be reassuring but that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> little time to get everything done! Her mind was going a thousand miles a second as she stared down at another string of lights. Was there enough room on the tree for more lights? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie, bless her heart, kept trying to help, but Dani kept pushing her out of the way. The tree needed to be perfect. “A’ight, we’re taking a break.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m still--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, a break it is.” Jamie pulled Dani away from the Christmas tree. She huffed a bit, but her attention was easily swayed away as Jamie pulled her close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soft Christmas music played in the background as a lull for them to slowly move to. Jamie’s hand against her waist felt so secure and lovely. Dani just melted into the embrace. The stress of making things perfect seemed to drift away as they swayed to the music. Her hand pressed against Jamie’s chest, their faces close to one another. If she tilted her head, she could rub her nose against Jamie’s. The silence was warm between the two of them and Dani could swear that she could hear Jamie humming along to the song on the radio. Nothing loud, just a quiet hum in the air that Dani wished to package and keep with her forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything else seemed to fade away, the stress of having people for the holiday, the decorations, any notion of time slipped from her mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All she could think was Jamie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just her over and over again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just Jamie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is rather romantic, isn’t it?” Dani whispered, her nose crunched with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Here they were in their own apartment, dancing in the midst of Christmas decorations. There was still so much to get done, but this was enough for her. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jamie’s own accent had softened in the years in Vermont. But Dani hadn’t expected for the kids’ to be gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sounded more like they were from California than England. Mile’s accent still lingered, but Flora’s was almost completely gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another thing that shouldn’t have surprised her but did was that they were bigger than they had been. In her mind, they were still the ages when she was their au pair. Now they were 11 and 13. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had grown up so much that it almost frightened Dani, thinking how much time had passed. There had been so many few moments where she was overwhelmed with her beast that lingered in the shadow. When they had left Bly, she had been so certain that it would come for her soon. Now it was 3 years and nothing had come for her. Not yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani had been so excited to see them, her hands had rubbed against each other as the time wound down on the clock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani didn’t forget that Jamie had known the kids longer than she had. There was a smile on Jamie’s face when they got into the apartment that it made Dani smile even broader. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Owen would arrive later in the evening from the flight overseas. Miles and Flora had both come from boarding school for the holiday and winter time off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was so much to talk about and the kids were more than ready to share. Flora was doing “splendidly” there and she shared all the activities she was up to. Horseback riding was something new that hadn’t been discussed on the phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, of course I had to purchase her one,” was Henry’s only excuse to why now 11 year old Flora had her own horse that was boarded at the school and would return to the property during the summers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Miles was a little more reserved in talking about his time at the boarding school. An hour had drawn by before he took over the conversation more. Dani had been a teacher for long enough to know that 13 year old boys required a little more finesse when trying to talk about his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had moved to the living room. The kids were huddled on the couch and Jamie had taken one of the chairs. Dani sat on the floor next to her. Their apartment wasn’t large, so there was a more squished feel between the guests and the Christmas tree that took apartment </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have been studying more about Bly.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The comment shouldn’t have thrown her off as much as it did. Bly was an almost non-existent topic at their apartment. They hadn’t wanted to make it linger in the air between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But talking about it, it didn’t feel like it changed the atmosphere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saying it aloud didn’t make it scary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t make it any more real than it already was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For all the tension that Dani had, it hadn’t changed anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie’s hand has gone to clasp her shoulder, thumb running across her neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani instinctively went up to grab it with her own hand. She loved how much Jamie cared and was willing to show it, the simple act of affection meant the world to her. She squeezed her hand back, just to let her know that she was okay. This was all okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Any strangeness that may have come disappeared quickly when there was a knock on their front door. Jamie was the one who went and opened it for Owen to come into the house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their house seemed even more small with Owen standing in it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joy was the only word that Dani could use to describe the scene. Flor had jumped up and ran to Owen with the broadest smile on her face. Jamie had been the first to give him a hug, but Flora bounced near them enough that Jamie quickly pulled back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiles were all around as they all greeted him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the most wine-derful time of the year,” Owen spoke loudly as he held up a bottle of wine as a welcoming gift. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It had become a tradition to drive around their town to look at all the Christmas lights that had been put up. Their neighbors just outside the city limits had really outdone themselves this Christmas. The kids and Henry were piled into the backseat and Owen had stayed back at their apartment, preparing for a Christmas dinner tomorrow. He was truly spoiling them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at that one!” Flora said, pointing out her side of the car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie knew who lived there vaguely, they had come into their shop hoping for a floral arrangement for their daughter’s bridal shower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She remembered going there to help prepare the flowers with Dani, both of them working in different directions to attempt to make it perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it had been. They had tipped well and pre-booked the flora shop for their daughter’s wedding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having good customers who paid in advance helped them through their off season.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive around the neighborhood is snow as the kids and Dani talk back and forth about the lights and all the decorations. By the end of the drive, the car had gone quiet. The loudest of the bunch had both fallen asleep. Instead she talked softly with Miles and Henry as they drove back to the apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani’s head was back, resting against the headrest with her mouth open in a peaceful slumber. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time they were back at the apartment, Jamie didn’t want to leave the car. Flora had drifted awake and made it easy for the passengers in the backseat to all exit the vehicle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You lot head up, we’ll be up in a few.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Jamie waited. Just enjoying the silence with the soft breaths of Dani beside her. She wished she had brought a book to pass the time, but she wasn’t going to wake Dani. Dani who looked so peaceful and beautiful. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from wearing her coat in the heated car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, she’d wait in the car until Dani came back to the land of the living. She turned on the radio quietly so she could listen to the christmas songs that were played all day. The snow was falling around them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It must have been nearly an hour before Dani stirred awake. Jamie’s own eyes had shut for a bit while she waited. “Where are the kids?” Dani asked as she looked to the backseat to find the car empty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They went upstairs.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have I been out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only about an hour,” Jamie said as she reached over the median and pushed some hair out of Dani’s face. A small act of affection that she found herself doing often. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani questioned it. “Why did you wake me?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t have it in me. You looked so peaceful,” Jamie admitted as she finally turned off the running car. Probably not the best thing in the world to leave your car running for an hour, but Jamie would leave it running all day if it gave Dani peace and rest. “You’ve been so busy as a host, thought it’d be nice to let you have a moment.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the reward of Dani smiling back at her was worth the wait. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It was late into the evening when the topic of Bly came up. The kids were asleep in their spare bedroom, while the adults stayed talking in the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has anyone been back?” Dani was the one who asked. There was a small bit of sadness in the air when they all remembered where they all remembered back to that summer. There had been so much loss there and the ghosts still lingered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh no, the kids haven’t asked, in fact Flora’s rather made herself popular here,” Henry explained. “We’ve got a house in California where the kids love spending the summer.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani knew that Owen hadn’t been back, he was back living in Paris being the head chef at some fancy restaurant she couldn’t pronounce. Anytime they talked, Bly was left out of the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No need to bring up the sadness that they all held in their heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Dani knew that the only way to work through things was confronting them and talking about them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talking about Hannah. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to talk about Hannah, even 3 years later. Dani had only known her, well really only barely knew her. But for the rest of them, Hannah had been a much bigger part of their lives.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani knew what Jamie talked about. She knew that Hannah was the first person she had ever truly came out to. Hannah was the first friend that Jamie had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Hannah had been the same to her. Dani had gone to Bly after being alone for 6 months in London. After leaving her old life in Iowa behind, she hadn’t been truly able to make any friends. There was so much sadness and fear that kept her from making real friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until she went to Bly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish she could have seen this,” Jamie was the next one to speak. This time it was Dani who slipped her hand into Jamie’s, squeezing it in an act of encouragement and acknowledgement. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“You think you’re rather clever, don’t you?” Jamie teased as she looked up at the mistletoe hung mysteriously above their bedroom door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani was all shy, with a slight blush on her face that Jamie loved seeing. “How did that get there?” She feigned innocence, but the truth came with Dani’s hands finding her hips and pulling them towards each other. Dani must have put it there on purpose, not anywhere else in the house. Couldn’t have any of them having to kiss Owen or Henry. No, the kisses would be shared between them alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rather cliche, ain’t it?” Jamie spoke softly, her eyes focused on Dani’s lips that were open ever so slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But hey, cliches were alright with her when it came from Dani. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as she thought she’d hate the tradition of kissing under a mistletoe, she didn’t. Not in the least. She could think of nothing better than kissing Dani under one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie might have the one to lean in first, but it was Dani’s mouth that opened first. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was so perfect, that Jamie wanted to freeze this moment for the rest of time. Just the two of them, no cares in the world, pressed against one another, Dani’s tongue in her mouth. She never let the thoughts of when Dani would leave her slip into her mind during these moments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>These moments didn’t belong to the lady in the lake. They belonged to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dani hoped to make more moments like this. Ones that belonged to them alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I take it down and bring it to the bedroom with us?” Jamie asked once they pulled apart. Dani’s hands were still on her waist, tugging the two of them to be pressed together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jamie,” Dani chastised, but the way her grip tightened made Jamie only want to tease more. She just pulled Dani closer for another kiss instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A kiss that was followed by another kiss. A kiss that was followed by Dani’s hands pushing up against her sweater on her waistline. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can be quiet,” Jamie mumbled as she pulled Dani into their bedroom, closing the door behind them. Dani was still flushed with pink cheeks and slightly swollen lips. Dani just smiles at heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it’s one of her favorite Dani smiles. The one where she smiles and then sucks her lips over her teeth to try and hold it in. Any idea of just ending the night with clothes on are fully gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then again, all of Dani smiles are her favorite. Every quick of her lips or even when her face is still, but a smile can be seen in her eyes. They all are her favorites. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When their nights start with smiles, it is always magical. She doesn’t mean to discredit the other nights where they pull each other close with strong need or just the need for the simple comfort being with each other brings. There is just something special where they both smile that it feels like their first time again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jamie hopes that another three years down the line, they are still smiling into kisses. Because it doesn’t feel like three years have passed. All that has changed is they are much more comfortable taking off each other’s clothes and Dani doesn’t have the nervousness that comes with touching Jamie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Experience just made it better. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>part two coming soon &lt;3 all the comments are welcome</p></blockquote></div></div>
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